I heard a spiritual devotee say “For me, continence [refraining from sexual intercourse] can be a way to Christ consciousness or to have direct experience with God”. I shared that I had been having these experiences of Christ consciousness and direct experience actually during sex. She said “Instead of expending your sexual energy on physical sex, you could be cultivating this sexual and creative energy and solely focus on devotion to God”. This sounded a little self-righteous and I didn’t agree with what felt like a sacrifice that we aren’t meant to experience. Sexual energy is creation and to suppress it or not share this physical energy with another, well, it just doesn’t feel right to me. God doesn’t want and God doesn’t need us to direct our physical, sexual energy to a thought of something separate than our beloved in front of us. As we see God in everyone, we experience God in all ways. How can God be something different than You or I? We were experiencing different truths.
How has your sacred union been with your partner? Have you been the one to initiate sexual intimacy? How does this happen? What do you say? If you spend the day together, what do you do? Do you set up the room as a “sacred lair of exquisite love”? Flirt with your partner, but do not tease or use sarcasm. Be attentive, but do not glom or overdo it. Keep clean hygiene. Through studying tantra, I learned how to create a ceremony and set the space before my partner enters the room. To take initiative. This could mean intoxicating incense, sensual music, sweet candles, bath with plumeria or rose petals leading to the bathtub. Invite your partner to follow the path. Bathe them…or whatever. I learned that our genitals are our sacred site and there are five different types for each gender. We can make agreements and set boundaries and then communicate about what feels good and what doesn’t. Learn to ask what your partner wants and have them show you. It’s ok to ask.
I learned to be completely focused upon my partner and to also allow my partner access to my body, while I became in tune with the feelings in my body. You can train yourself to be so touch sensitive to activate energy or “kriyas” or even “kundalinis” in your body. During love-making, slow down. Be in the moment. Don’t have an agenda. See what happens. You may miss what’s happening at this moment. When you are seducing or caressing, be in that moment. Be in synchronicity with your partner. Synchronize your breathing. Look at each other. See each other.
While living within a spiritual community in Sedona, I met Gary Hendrickson, a feng shui consultant and man balanced in his feminine and masculine energies. He can swing a hammer and sing “a capella” in the style of Andrea Bocelli. During our spirited conversations, we both started to realize that what we were discussing was something that we were both very passionate about – Self Mastery and assisting men to realize their divine masculine and to balance their sacred energies. “Daniel, have you heard of the Quodoushka teachings?” I told him I hadn’t, but I was very curious. Gary shared “Quodoushka is the merging of two energy fields to create a new energy, which is greater than the sum of its parts. These people offer amazing workshops on working with our sexual energies. These teachings have been known to greatly improve relationships and experience of our divine nature”. The more we talked, the more we realized we were on the same path and we started to create what we called the “Brotherhood of Self Mastery”. Gary continued “Quodoushka teaches that even if you don’t have a partner, there are ancient ways to “move energy” in your own chakras (energy centers) so you can have full body orgasms without touch. We’d sit in meditation or listening to music and experience these “kriyas” or activations of energy. You also can use “fire breath” which is a fast, rhythmic breath that generates sexual energy. The “fire breath” is similar to what I had been teaching in my “ecstatic breathing” workshops.
To practice the “fire breath” lay down on your back and put a pillow under your heart. Breathe deeply and start to focus on your diaphragm as the source of your breathing, instead of your chest. Breathe in through your nose and exhale out of your mouth. Do this deeply and at a fast pace, preferably in sync with evocative music and strong drum beats.
Every woman in my life, intimate or not, has been a blessing. There were one or two relationships in which I felt suppressed, feeling like I wasn’t able to do what I wanted to do. At the time, it was very frustrating and even that was the greatest gift of love. If someone you are in contact with is challenging your inner power, it’s because they or you (your higher self) are wanting you to flex your power…like a boxing trainer wanting the boxer to “Give me your best shot!” What a more beautiful way for you to step into that. What being in your life could be more deserving of your love and appreciation for such a gift? When you appreciate someone, you are loving them. As in the movie Avatar, you are “seeing” them. You are connected to Source Energy, Creation, All That Is, Spirit, God.
Yes, there was also heartache, pain and suffering. But, these are not inevitable. Heartache is a normal reaction to the perceived loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship. The suffering comes in if we stay in the heartache. But, don’t avoid the heartache. Feel it. Immerse yourself in it. This is living. Remember, everything is temporary. Everything. You are in this feeling, physical reality and a large part of this experience is fully engaging yourself in it. To distance yourself from this reality is missing the point. Try to imagine yourself acting in a dramatic play. It’s opening night. There is excitement and nervousness in the air. After your performance, you replay in your mind the acts and the acting. See your life from this perspective. You are an actor in this play called “Creation” and well, “All the world’s a stage”. We are without form, except in our minds. Our minds create the Universe for this play.
Jump in! Embrace the sacred moments, the episodes of life. Wake everyone up with your life! There are the betrayals of life which continue to open us up to all that we are becoming or shut us down into sleep and beaten into submission. As the driving rain has drenched you to the core and spoiled your plans and you find yourself further away from where you wanted to be and can feel the creeping despair, can you raise your head to the sky, throw your arms out to your sides and yell “YES!”? When you’re faced with a life-threatening situation or your own mistakes and failures and you somehow come out of it with your heart still beating, can you scream to the gods “That was incredible!”? When there is reason to dance your ass off, can you find the courage to celebrate and not caution yourself and instead fully express yourself and let your body fall into exquisite ecstasy? Can you be that person who starts the dance? Do you need a reason to dance? Will you use this life, and not another, to remember your true nature, your fullest expression, your divinity and your greatest love? If you’d rather sit on the bleachers, why the hell did you choose to be in the game? Tell me of this beautiful life! Tell me of the aching in your heart. Not for another, but for the unshakeable, unstoppable, unfathomable desire to live life within the flow of nature and the stream of spirit, to feel and give love so unconditionally and so freely to every divine soul and yourself, to deeply touch others with your open and delicious heart, to hear the voices as sacred sounds, to gaze in a stranger’s eyes and see God. Humanity longs to hear you speak of the intense love you have for yourself, the long, sacred moments of silence that you share with you – the beloved. Show them. Your soul knows the truth of who you are.
Now is the only moment. Now is the only reality. In this life of never-ending contrast, you have created so many episodes that would crash you, but instead you have used them as perfect opportunities to say “I love me! This is what I choose. I will live and thrive!” And these episodes, some of them, were offered by those beings of light that you had promised to forgive. They were the angels that agreed to provide you with the illusions of betrayal, pain, agony and physical harm, so the lesson in forgiveness that you desired would be experienced. How could there be any greater love for you, dear one? Who could do this deed for you but an angel whose only desire is to serve you? The greater the deed, the greater potential for epic forgiveness. Can you even comprehend this kind of selfless, pure, boundless love?
Looking at it as a story, it takes on a new energy, doesn’t it? Everyone has their story. We can all become attached to this story. Stop the story. With detachment, it’s all so thrilling! Wonder what it would be like to go back and live those moments with this new awareness. You can. You can go back into those memories and experience it with more awareness, love and forgiveness. Yes, you can change the past. There is no past; only a memory held in your mind…which you hold the key to.
We are constantly experiencing and choosing to react or flow with our experiences. We interpret these experiences as “good” or “bad”, but the episode is only presented to and by us. It is how we are responding in that moment that shapes us and any future experience that we attract or create. Someone dies. Someone is born. This we can call “contrast”. Contrast is normal. If there were no contrast in life, we would not prefer. If we did not prefer, we would not create. If we did not create, we would not exist. There is a never-ending drive for us to create. Nothing, no healing, no transformation, no connection is too big. All that you do is done not by you, but by Oneness, All That Is, by God’s grace your vessel is used to accomplish this.
When something tragic happens, we usually hear the phrase “everything happens for a reason” and is usually interpreted as there is something to watch for in the future (“just wait for it”) related to this event happening now. We’re supposed to keep looking for the reason that this event happened. It can drive us crazy wondering where the silver lining to the cloud is. Another phrase is “God works in mysterious ways”. Ooo, spooky. Here’s some more of my power. Thank you. God doesn’t work in mysterious ways, only perfection. It can also be that this event happening now is the result of your creation, from your thoughts and actions. Nothing ever happens for “bad”. Everything always happens for our highest good. With no such thing as the concept of time, our evolution and ascension is instantaneous. We can choose to see every problem or obstacle as the final test of your soul’s evolution. Saying “Yes” to everything immerses yourself in all of the experiences of life. I thought that I was living life and seeing where it led me. But, in reality, I was already here and everything I had done in the past was perfection.