Who am I? What am I?
Give yourself a “permission slip” to explore this. A permission slip is anything that reminds you that you can challenge or question the boundaries of your limitations.
Consciousness, Vibration, Light, Energy, Mass. You see yourself as mass or form. But, we are consciousness vibrating into light energy and then into form. There are no objects – only energetic representations or vibrations which we (our brain) then materialize into static form. The object or form never comes from somewhere else. There is no other. It is only you. But, you are never alone. You are always surrounded by consciousness. What is reality but what we perceive? And what is our perception, if not our creation? Chew on that! I like to think of myself in the following way.
A Bubble Within The Ocean
A bubble within the ocean,
created from water and filled with space.
Never separate and together always.
Ever recreating, expanding and ascending.
At the end of its journey, releasing.
Its physical form even had a name,
Its essence now returns from which it came.
I AM the bubble. I AM the ocean.
We can’t estimate the size of the Universe. Every time we view another section, it expands. This is the same thing that happens when we explore ourselves. In exploring ourselves, we find that there are no mistakes in the Universe or in creation. If you exist, you are perfection, you are magical, you are imperative to the completeness of creation.
Spiritual guru, Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, says “Love says ‘I am everything’. Wisdom says ‘I am nothing’. Between the two, my life flows.”
In everything that we want to hold onto, we are nothing. In everything that we can’t, we are everything.
Sometimes, people want to know how I know that we are divine beings or the existence of God, Source Energy or Creator. Well, besides studying the recent scientific experiments concerning quantum physics that prove what we are, I go into the space behind my thoughts. What do I mean? Well, when I have a thought, that “I” is “having the thought”. Not the little “I” as in my identity, which comes after my thought, but the big “I” that initiates the thought, my breath, my heartbeat, inspiration and activates my body and mind. If I keep asking “Where did this thought come from?” I always come to an initiator not bound by this body and that’s me! If that is me, then I am boundless, ever-expanding, ever-experiencing, complete, whole, safe, without form, with form and I can never ever die or be born. So, then what does this mean? You know it already. You are God. If you think this is some sort of blasphemy, then you misunderstand the nature of God. You have lowered the truth of God. If you have rules about what God is and what God wants, you separate yourself from the fullness of your being.
EXERCISE: On a piece of paper, write “I am…” and without judgment, write what comes to mind (i.e. “happy”, “ a teacher”, “poor”, “wealthy”…etc.). This is not the time for positive affirmations, just more of a check-in. Later, in a few days or weeks or months, check-in again.
Out loud, say “I am”
Repeat “I AM” louder
Repeat I AM, again, fuller, with joy, to the Universe!
Know and speak this about yourself “I AM the silent awareness that is here even during non-presence, noise or speaking.”
To call ourselves, father, mother, doctor, lawyer or president is limiting to who and what we really are. Our natural selves are infinite, but we are embodied beings in this third-dimensional planet. Yes, you are playing this role in this time and space reality. Just do not become lost in that as an identity. We use these bodies as vehicles of perception, through our conditioned minds, in order to experience this reality. They are reflections of our beliefs, but they are not Us. The body you exist within has a lens to measure light with. Who is it who sees? It is not the lens that sees. Who uses the brain to interpret images, sounds and smells? What is it that beats the heart, activates thoughts in the brain and animates the body and gives it life? Who do we think we are that we are a separate identity and not All That Is? We were given an identity at birth. But, we existed before that identity was given. From that moment on, we were guided, directed, persuaded and threatened to fit in. We are that which animates and ignites us.
Like a paper bag, poked with holes and turned upside-down over a light bulb, it is all One Source seen through many perspectives. You are in concert with everything and nothing moves without your breath.
Sometimes, when you know the truth from the beginning, you cannot be fully engaged in the deception, so we choose to be fully immersed into this movie, this play, so the experience would appear real and we could trick ourselves into believing the opposite of what we are. This is how we experience ourselves; by simulating taking ourselves away from the Oneness. For some actors, the next trick is to continue within the play all the while knowing that it is the greatest illusion. From this new perspective, a new vitality, peace and grace can be realized.
Exercise #3: Create your movie.
What role will you play?
Will you be the hero?
How immersed in your role will you be?
What would be the theme of the movie?
Would it be exciting? Thrilling? Uneventful? Peaceful?
Contemplate this. If you knew you couldn’t be stuck in the movie. That “time” would not pass. That you could not be hurt or destroyed (like playing a video game). That you could gain the essence of the experience, feel it, know it…what experience would you choose? Would you choose an experience more difficult than what you are currently experiencing? Would you be the hero? What if being the villain would cause humanity to join together as One collective to improve their condition? Who do you need me to be? If you need me to be the hero, messiah, prophet or savior, then I am that. Isn’t this what others have said? Isn’t this what Jesus was saying? “I AM that.” Isn’t this what God says in its non-judgmental, all-that-is, perfection? Is it the villain that you need me to be at this moment? That is who I am for you…whoever and whatever you need me to be.
When people say “Thy will be done” (meaning God’s will) remember that God is living through you. Do not continue to create separation between you and God. There is no way for you to be separate from All That Is. This is divine service. We become servants. How do we live that way, with the whole “Thy will be done” thing? You don’t allow your ego or your demand for safety to direct your life. This is exactly what I was looking to totally clear while I was on this 3000-mile journey of faith. Living purposefully and without ego. God living through me, within me, as me. God is all around you. Listen to it. Feel it. We’re swimming in it. We’re a fish swimming in the water, not realizing we’re wet. We decided to take ourselves out of the water to experience the water. Even as I write this, I am feeling Oneness with everything in the room. At first, when I would assist someone through some realization or different perspective. I felt like I had really served. Later, I realized that in serving, they were giving me the opportunity to serve and so receive. We are not serving someone outside of ourselves, because we are that. You are the person you serve. As I serve, I receive. They were giving me a reason to pull something out of consciousness to tell myself. I know it sounds weird, but it’s almost as if “they” didn’t really have a problem. I could almost visualize them walking away with a secret smile and deep satisfaction of causing an effect; the effect of me reaching into Oneness and grabbing truth.
Why am I here?
A guru was asked “Why is it that dogs will suffer bugs in their eyes when they stick their heads out of a window of a moving car?” “You have asked the most profound question”, said the guru. “The reason why the dog will go through the bugs in the eyes is because it realizes the contrast, between having the bugs in the eyes and the exhilaration of the ride, is worth it.” The guru continued “…and that is the same reason why you came into this existence. You knew that the contrast between the suffering that you would have to endure and the exhilaration of this ride would be worth it.”
My friend Amanda says “Each one of us is a genius. Each one of us came here to express that genius, which is really God expressing itself through the being we call ‘I.’ Ask the question ‘Why am I here? Why am I here?! Remind me! I forget, what with all the stuff and everything.’ Listen for the answer and don’t edit it when it comes, because it’ll be big, and possibly weird, and probably scary. But if you accept it, you’ll feel a power rising in you and a joy that will knock your socks off. So quit hiding out, stop being ‘nice,’ share your love, lose control! Quit playing it cool! Let your Genius come through you.” Right on Amanda!
Ok, so really. Why are we here? Have you ever saved a life? Created a life? Have you ever loved and felt love? Have you ever touched someone deeply or uplifted someone’s day? It may seem like you just go through your life and it doesn’t seem like you’re really connecting with other people in a deep way. You have. You have more than you could ever understand. If you could only understand how you have unknowingly changed someone’s life and how that moment then changed another’s life and another and another. Just this could be enough reason for some. A flap of a butterfly’s wings changes the world. Ask yourself this question “Why am I here?”. What do you want to be here for? At the highest level, we are to experience God or All-That-Is, ourselves. We do this by causing the illusion of separating ourselves from singularity or Oneness.
We can be here “on Earth” to grow, love, evolve, express, explore, engage…etc. There are those that have taken physical form so that we can fully express, grow, love, evolve…etc. with ultimate selflessness. They are the amazing souls that have volunteered with unconditional love to help us experience these things. What about the people that live in a way that doesn’t agree with you. On the deepest level, if there are people who, from your perspective, you are not in alignment with, then they may be here so that you can express to Source Energy what it is that you do want.
Your life may be transforming into a beautiful way of living. You can feel and see it. People comment to you and others how they feel around you. You attract radiant and awakened people. Then, the next day, there is someone who expresses such hate and anger towards you. What gives?
Sometimes we serve as the “hero” and sometimes as the “villain”. Your loved ones may need you to be the villain. To Jesus, it did not matter which role he was playing. He fulfilled whatever was desired. You may be loved and adored one day and hated and despised the next. Don Miguel Ruiz of the Toltecs wisdom teaches in his book The Four Agreements in one of the agreements “Don’t take anything personally”.
“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”
Nelson Mandela
Remembering your truth is important, because you have been programmed. You were programmed and domesticated to actively participate in the society and collective consciousness that you were in. We are all trying to succeed, make money, eat and live in a system that is and has been broken and was never meant to benefit humanity as a sustainable system. But, just because that was the program, does not mean that you have to accept it. Most everything that has been created was created by someone else and may not be the way you would have created it. If it was created, formed, and named by someone else you don’t need to own it as yours.
Though, what is true for you is your beliefs which create your outer world. So, your outer world is a direct reflection of your inner world. Someone once said “We do not see the world as it is; we see it as we are”. This outer world is this play that you are in. It’s the drama that you experience. If you are unorganized within, your environment will be unorganized. If you believe people are out to steal from you, then you will be stolen from.
Present a truth to yourself. If your truth brings happiness, stay in your truth. Does it say something about who you are? If it does, then it is not a truth. It is a belief. Every person’s truth is true for them and their reality and their perception. Question everything. Question all of your beliefs. Should I really _______? Can any of my beliefs be absolute truth? What is absolute truth? Is it? Really? Is there any thought that can be an absolute truth?
AFFIRMATION: “I now release all opinions, judgments and outside programming. I now only accept my own inner truth, which is validated from my heart. I know that every question I now ask, I know the answer to. I realize my physical being as an illusion and a dream.”
THEN THERE ARE UNIVERSAL TRUTHS…
The first Universal Truth: You are the creator of your reality. Your thoughts create your beliefs, which then are brought in front of you as your reality.
The second Universal Truth: Your life is a mirror. What is in front of you is a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs. If you have hidden aspects of yourself, which still can be embraced, these will be presented to you, by you. You attract like vibration and frequencies.
The third Universal Truth: Everything is connected. As the butterfly flaps its wings, weather patterns are changed on the planet. There are no set rules about what can and cannot be affected. We are all entangled.
The fourth Universal Truth: You are already in your spiritual home. There is nowhere to go. Your spiritual home is your soul. You cannot ever leave this place. Wherever you go, there you are.
The fifth Universal Truth: You will live forever. Before you were born into the body you carry, you were the I AM presence. You will continue to be after your body dissolves back into the Earth and the cosmos. Most of us have all felt that moment of enlightenment. It’s just that for most of us, the majority of input we receive tends to take us out of that state of being.
So. Who am I? What am I? Why am I here? How should I treat this “bad” person? How do I figure out where to go and what to do? What is God? Is there a heaven and a hell? What about people who suffer in other countries? What about terrorists and bullies and corruption?
There is only one answer, always and ever…Love.